torn shirts

This morning, as I was ironing one of my favourite work shirts I noticed a tear at the trail end, back of the shirt. Just a 2 cm vertical split slightly off-center, and after ironing it I put it on. Buttoned it top down, I proceeded to tuck my shirt in only to hear the sound of ripping thread.

Aren’t we like that sometimes? We know that certain attitudes of ours gets us no where, still we carry it around. Attitudes like being indifferent, egoistic, self-promotion, are so subtle that they may as well be to ourselves should we fail to look in the mirror.

The weekend’s sermon titled “Humility before honour” brought a mirror to me, causing me to see my weaknesses reflecting on it. My immediate responses,”I’m not that proud. I think I’m pretty humble.” caused me to think deeper, cause those are the exact symptoms of pride and egoistic attitude. It may not show in my ministry as a cell leader, or worship team member but if I were to be honest with myself, I do project myself to high standards (possibly higher than I should) in the working world.

I’m thinking at this moment, how is this wrong? I have not been in situations of which I have failed my own high standards, then again, I can’t remember any such obvious circumstances in the the daily routine past 9 months. However, the interviews I have attended stand out as moments where I have “sold” myself to potential employers. Are the results of those interviews telltale signs of my pride? What then should the attitude be when approaching prospective jobs that require a higher function than you may provide?

Striking the balance seems like a hard thing to do, but thinking deeper, it’s not really about balance. It’s about the order. The order of which humility precedes honour and attitude precedes actions. The former would prolly be a little harder to accept, but I suppose that’s what makes us different. Bad attitudes definitely has to go, but good attitudes also needs to be cultivated.

So old torn shirts need to be thrown away, and new shirts need to be bought.

Sri Lanka Missions Trip May 2011

The last trip I had was back in July, 2008 to India. Liz went last year in October, and this year we were able to go on a trip together as a married couple.

They say that when we choose to serve God despite the difficulties you face in life, He honours that commitment and obedience. No matter how absurd things turn out in life, there’s always that reminder that God has the best plans for us and His ways are higher than our ways, His thoughts far greater that ours.

And I’m trusting Him for that breakthrough.

my funeral song

Our family experienced the passing of another relative just last week, and though not entirely shaken by the news, it got me thinking.

I’d like my funeral to be a time where people see what God’s done in my life. Not the amount of assets I might have required, nor the name I made for myself or for other people.

Just what God has done in my life.

I know it’s a little .. pre-mature but I’d like to have this song played at my funeral – All the way my Saviour leads me. Not that I’ll be hearing it, but just thought it’d be nice.

Here’s Chris Tomlin’s rendition of Fanny Crosby’s hymn “All the way my Saviour leads me”.

All the way my Saviour leads me
Who have I to ask aside
How could I doubt His tender mercy
Who through life has been my guide
All the way my Saviour leads me
Cheers each winding path I tread
Gives me grace for every triumph
Feeds me with the living bread

You lead me and keep me from falling
You carried me close to Your heart
And surely Your goodness and mercy
Will follow me

All the way my Saviour leads me
Oh the fullness of His love
Oh the sureness of His promise
In the triumph of His blood
When my spirit clothed immortal
Wings it flight to realms of day
This my song through endless ages
Jesus led me all the way

Here’s the original -

All the way my Savior leads me,
What have I to ask beside?
Can I doubt His tender mercy,
Who through life has been my Guide?
Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,
Here by faith in Him to dwell!
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well;
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well.

All the way my Savior leads me,
Cheers each winding path I tread,
Gives me grace for every trial,
Feeds me with the living Bread.
Though my weary steps may falter
And my soul athirst may be,
Gushing from the Rock before me,
Lo! A spring of joy I see;
Gushing from the Rock before me,
Lo! A spring of joy I see.

All the way my Savior leads me,
Oh, the fullness of His love!
Perfect rest to me is promised
In my Father’s house above.
When my spirit, clothed immortal,
Wings its flight to realms of day
This my song through endless ages:
Jesus led me all the way;
This my song through endless ages:
Jesus led me all the way.

worship..

.. begins at home.

feeding the spirit man!

Rev. Dr. Bernard Blessing was speaking on Sunday morning, and I found myself guilty of not feeding my spirit man.

He illustrated how God is 3 and 1, the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. We humans are 3 and 1 too, the spirit, body and soul.

God breathed spirit into the dust that He formed us from, and our soul is who we are. The spirit is always upward(and heavenly) looking, while the body seeks and enjoys what is on this earth. Feed the body/flesh, it gets stronger. Soul follows. Spirit has no choice, but to follow.

Feed the spirit, it gets stronger. Soul follows. Then body follows.

What the body/flesh feeds on:

• Negative information
• Prayerless-ness
• Disobedience to the Word of God

What the spirit feeds on:

• Prayer
• Reading of the Word
• Obedience to the Word of God

It’s not difficult to stray. It’s not difficult to plan your path in life. What business to do, what job to go for, what salary to demand, what plans to carry out. All these are merely physical and earthly decisions that will not last, nor have a lasting impact.

I realize, that when a plan .. placed in God’s hands and then sown .. will reap God’s purpose and results.

If you’re reaping results that you don’t like, then stop sowing.

If you want to change what you reap, change what you sow.

You SUCK or Succ(essful)?

PJK sent the message down saying that these are 3 principles that you could follow to be a successful young adult in this time and age.

when I was a child..

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became man, I put childish ways behind me – 1 Corinthians 13:11

I once struggled with the term adulthood. This passage stops short of explaining how an adult should talk, think and reason, but yet succeeds in bringing the essence of being an adult.

To stop being childish.

No more talking like a child. No more thinking like a child, and reasoning like a child.

With just 10 days to the wedding, I’m beginning to think that if there’s any better time to start being an adult .. it’s now.

It’s NOOOWwwwwwWWWWwwwwwww!

what people say

I learnt recently, that no matter what people may say about you, it’s important to guard your heart and know that if you’ve tried your best, done all that you are able to, and have a clear conscience with God at that .. you’re okay.

Of course, it’s not an excuse nor a way to deny that you have shortfalls .. but to allow the negativity to seep in and affect the way you perceive and behave in the whole situation does not help.

I think I know, but …

I don’t.

For years, I’ve encouraged Christians to know their identity in Christ, know God’s purpose for their lives, and know where they’re headed. All these years, I thought I knew who I am. But I don’t, exactly.

I knew somewhat, but that’s cause I’m of a certain level of “smartness” .. and have my way about the things that I do.

Ps. Vincent’s sermon struck some sense in me, how Jacob thought about his schemes (against his brother Esau), his 7 year plan, plus another 7 years and how he strives for what he wants in his life. Fear also gripped him, as Esau comes to “visit” him with 400 men .. which then his “smart-ass-ness” comes out.

I can’t help but to also feel the same way about myself.

I’ve always been able to figure out what I need to do, how to do it, and when to do it. The pivotal question though .. is why?

Why do I do what I do?

It’s time to be called by name again. Like the angel of God asking Jacob for his name.

back to You

It’s always hard coming back to You. I never fail to reject my own application for forgiveness, but You never do reject me. It’s times like these when I finally find Your mercies are new every morning, and Your faithfulness never ceases.

And Lord I’m amazed. How You love me. How wide, deep, great, is Your love for me.